Mostrando las entradas con la etiqueta Smiling. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando las entradas con la etiqueta Smiling. Mostrar todas las entradas

♥ I'm in love and always will be ♥

martes, 9 de junio de 2015
Everyday when i wake up, i look at her and i'm proud of watching that girl being so strong.


She gets outta bed and washes her face. She hates herself. She wants to escape the life she was given. Sometimes she wishes she was dead, she needs another reality but hers. Or maybe she doesn't want to die but needs some things to change for better once and for all. She needs to feel better.


I love her.
She can't see how strong she is.
After all that's ever happened, she's still here with me.


The blood runs thought her veins.
Veins full of hate, pain and suffering.
But the heart is filled with hope and care and love.


She doesn't see that all the past was only to make her a warrior. So she fights a battle everyday and some days she wins, some others she gets lost in the woods all alone, but she never loses. You know why? Cause she's still breathing. And i'm proud of her. And i love her.


Her power is stronger day after day, even when she cries and cuts her own skin and bleeds till fall asleep. That's not weakness. That's her choice to heal the pain inside her mind.


So when she feels she's weak, i don't. I see a smart and lovely and charming girl full of joy and hope who wants to stay young and laugh and to have lots of safe fun. She deserves those smiles. And i love her.


I fall in love with her everyday of my fucking life.
Every time i look at the mirror, i fall deeper and deeper for her.


Her eyes. Her smile. Her hair. Her scars. And i love her.


She hates the mirror, but I love what i see.



♥ Nightingale ♥

sábado, 23 de mayo de 2015
It's amazing how things change and how can we believe in everything again.

               

More than over a year ago i wasn't even into all this stuff. I didn't even thought this could ever happen. But it did happen, and i couldn't be more grateful.

               

I didn't even knew this guy in person, but still i was into him. I used to imagine myself with him as friends in three dimensional life. Just hanging out and having great times together. We talked almost everyday. I stalked him on twitter. I tried talking about anything with him cause i don't know, i guess a part of me wished for all of this and my intuition felt it could be real outside my head. 
But all that crushed. 



It was all finished before it even started. I felt like an idiot. I even believed a friend back then, but she was nothing but a big misunderstood. And i hate how i started to feel jealous about someone who said didn't care about me, or my friend, or anyone else but that other girl. The difference between me and her, is that i'm a bitch to those who hurt me, but her... she made me feel like a complete loser and waste of time.



And i couldn't forget all that happen. I had a plan. I wanted some kind of revenge. Cause even behind a screen i can make people pay for their shit. And so i started that whole plan. But then i realized she wasn't worth it. She use to talk to me but i was so disgusted by her words that i decided to cut it off. And so there were like five or six months that i tried to forget about all of that. I knew people, I dated people, but somehow it all came back to my mind and i couldn't help it. Why did i kept remembering all of it? I just wanted it to go far far far away.

                


But then i started receiving anonymous messages from someone and i thought this could be him but... come one, why would he wanna talk to you? Don't be stupid and pull yourself back together. And the messages kept coming.
I suddenly thought this is him and so it was.


It was him.

             

He wanted to talk to me again, after over a year. I was feeling so happy, but so mean also, cause none of my friends knew how i felt about him and i used to say bad things about him so they won't notice that i liked him. I was lying to them and myself. But i decided to tell them cause i hate lies and i needed to get it out of my chest, and they understood me, they even supported me and felt happy about me. I couldn't believe it. I was so damn happy.

             


And the 13th came up, and i told him that i knew the anonymous messages came from him, so we started the real talking. And it was beautiful. I felt like all the shit i went thought because of that slut was gone.


And i met him. And we holed hands. And we hugged. And we kissed. And it was all beautiful. And i was really happy. And i felt nothing could break that happiness.


Now we're still holding hands.
Now we still hug.
Now we still kiss.
Now it's all still beautiful.
Now i'm still very happy.
Now i can say i somehow knew all of this could happen.


He's my nightingale.
He's my double rainbow.
He's my teenage dream.



He's my Caleb.
He's my Stiles.
He's my Tate.
He's my Tobias.
He's my Akiva.


He's my Freddie. I'm his Effy.




Now i have someone by my side who, being in a relationship, shows me he really cares and worries about me. And i couldn't be more grateful. He's the every morning message. He's the smiles and the weirdness and the freakishness and the voice that lives inside my soul. I won't let this go away.
Thank you for everything you do for me. I hope i can give it all back at you.
The waiting was worth it.





I adore you