Don't come any closer.

It shouldn't be like this. Not this way.

The rain should clean be but I'm dirty and messy as fuck.

I thought that could be the drop that fix me, that kept me safe till I get finally clean. And for months I started getting the dust out of my soul. But as usual, it didn't last that long.

Seventy nine days. That was all that took.

The filthy earth and lock of air suffocated me. They drove me to this. They build all this you're reading right now. All it took was a body with a mind to get twisted that easily.

Bang, just like that.

Cause when you feel he's the water drop to get you ready for the cleaning before the rain comes down, you're fucking wrong. Is your mind playing with yourself and laughing all over your face. Ain't it fun? She thinks it is.

And so you feel you need to get their attention. Get them to think they know you so you feel you have something to live for. You manipulate them, cause that's what we do the best, and they don't even notice it at all. They're fools but they think they're so clever trying to keep you safe.

But... wait... didn't you wanted that?
Didn't you wanted to feel save and to be loved?
You thought you did.
Didn't you needed their attention and care?
You thought you did.
Cause once they show love and care and attention, you dismiss it. You still feel empty.

So you play with the minds of the people that cares about you. You then make them feel just as miserable as you are. Cause if you can't be happy they can't neither. So you push them to the darkness, they don't even notice it. They have no idea. Only the strongest ones stick around. And they're the ones who make you realize nothing that you've been doing makes it better. They show it to you with grace and peace and most important of all: love.

Love heals every time, even if you don't believe me (and my future me while being depressed) I can tell you now. Cause their love makes you believe you can start loving yourself once and for all.

And the best you can do is follow that road. Is the best journey you could travel.

It is worth all the effort.