I wanna scream it to the world.

Golden hair is becoming white lines. They say it means something like waise. His eyes look at me so deep I think he can even see my soul. Every time his eyes stare into mine he can reads my mind, is like he knew. Is a secret but everyone knows about it, they all just keep it quite. They see us, they know it. I want to scream it so loud to the whole world but I know it'll be just taken as a joke and people will laugh at me like never before. I want to taste the smoke that comes out of your mouth and makes you wanna fly. I want to be more than just the girl you make fun with. I want the others to stop seeing us as a couple because that's never gonna happen, I wasn't made for that and neither did you. He's like the friend I never had and the enemy I love to find. He's the reason why  my birthday was so all about me. And because of that, I am so grateful. He doesn't even know. And still, he knows so much. I can see it in his eyes. I can see it in his smile. I can hear it everytime we say hi to each other. I saw it when he found out I hooked up. Not the jealousy but the seem of sadness, loneliness and disappointment. It was like a look of "I wanted to be in his place" mixed up with "I hope you're happy". But I'm not happy when I know I won't see him anymore. I'm not happy when he's not around. I'm okay with myself, yes. But it is consuming me the fact that I can't speak my mind. I want to taste you, feel you, kiss you. I want to put my arms around you and never let go.